That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
