Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Swine flu. Run for my life!
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
