I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The struggles of a small town man whore
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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