im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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