Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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