Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
