How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
