just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
