I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
