I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We need to get me chipped asap
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
