my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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