I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
