Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
