I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
