Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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