Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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