windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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