i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
