Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
