Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
