i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
