Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
