On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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