Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
