I'm really into asian looking animals
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
