Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
