I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
