If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
