Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
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