I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
operation have a gay friend backfired
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
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