So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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