Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
