know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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