I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
