You don't have asthma, your pregnant
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
