Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I think I sprained my soul last night
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
