How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
being pregnant is like rehab
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
