porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
