On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
