She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
