Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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