I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
