$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I skipped work to stalk him.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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