i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
