"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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