The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
