I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
MIDGETS
????
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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