Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
