i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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