Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
the liver wants what the liver wants
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
